If you do not reblog this, you are in fact lying.
Hey, don’t you fucking scroll down
tell me a secret
One time during class my drama/english teacher, who’s a devout vegan and all about not killing animals, accidentally stepped on a ladybug. He froze up and slowly cradles it in his hand and he was so heartbroken and started quoting Hamlet.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was a red m&m.
I can’t breathe
Last night I went to Starbucks and when the guy finished my drink, he bent down and wispered, “Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle.” I just smiled and took my drink, and while I was leaving I heard the other worker saying: “WOULD YOU STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR INSPERATIONAL SHIT!” and the guy responded with, “Gurl, there is no way in hell I am letting you dull my sparkle.”
Oh my god.
Confused husky pup
He’s not expressing confusion, he’s tilting his head for better sound localization. While having an ear on each side of the head is good for lateral echolocation, tilting the head so that the ears are offset gives it vertical depth.
Oh my gosh, that explains why some dogs put their head to one side when you talk to them. They’re not confused, they’re trying to listen to us better. Awww.
you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink
Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.
My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
I looked it up b/c that was a very familiar idiom and how could it be wrong but then
yeah wow that’s spot on perfect